Time After Time 8 страница

We’ve kissed thousands, possibly millions of times. But that kiss was in the top three.

Justin’s lips were soft, and his hair was soft, and his skin was soft, and warm, and he smelled faintly of paint and shampoo, and I felt my cock go hard in my pants almost instantly. But I didn’t want to fuck him. I just… wanted this. This was where I wanted to be. All the anxiety I’d felt all day, all week, was gone. This was right.

When we finally pulled apart it was only to catch our breath. I think he was just as startled as I was to realize where we were, and that everyone was staring at us.

Half of the crowd was crying. Emmet was sobbing into a tissue, and Ted was consoling him, eyes glistening. Michael was wiping his eyes on his sleeve. Jennifer was blinking rapidly and trying to look like she wasn’t about to burst into tears at any moment.

“Fuck, Brian,” Michael finally said, standing up. “You should have told us.” He yanked me roughly into a hug, and that’s when everyone else crowded around.

All I wanted to do was take Justin back to Britin (maybe it wasn’t such a bad name after all) and – shit. I wanted to make love to him. I wanted to take him, slowly, and gently, and make it last for hours. And then I wanted to do it again, and again, until we passed out.

That was clearly not going to happen for a long time.

“Oh, honey,” Jennifer gasped, hugging Justin tightly. “I didn’t… I didn’t know-“

“We wanted to surprise you,” Justin said, smiling so widely I wondered if his face hurt from it. Mine did.

I was passed from person to person for hugs, like I’d just won the nobel prize, or gotten a gold medal at the Olympics. Of course, this was almost more impressive, considering who I was.

“If you get snot on my Armani shirt, you’re paying for it,” I told Emmet as he sobbed into my shoulder.

He stood back and shook his head, wiping his eyes quickly on a tissue. “Why didn’t you let me throw you a real wedding? Or a party, at least? What about the… gold… whatever they were? The gardenias!”

Justin laughed and pulled out of his mother’s grip only to be hugged by Lindsay and Melanie at once.

“We decided we didn’t need that,” I said. “And we also knew that if we didn’t at least include all of you, we’d never hear the end of it.”

“They also wanted to save the money to go on a month-long trip to Europe,” Gus said.

I glanced over at him and smirked. “Well, that, too.”

“A month?!” Ted asked, grabbing my arm. “B-B-But what about Kinnetik?!”

“Don’t worry Theodore, I’ve gotten everything in order. You’ll be fine.”

Ted paled and looked nervous. Well, a little more anxiety wasn’t going to kill him.

“What about Gus?” Lindsay asked, frowning at me.

“He can stay here,” Michael said quickly.

I shot him a thankful grin. I’d been counting on that.

“Awesome! We can watch movies and eat tons of greasy food!” Gus said.

Michael smiled at him, and nodded quickly. Then he looked back at me. Behind the happiness was a little regret.

“I can’t believe this,” Lindsay said once she reached me through the crowd. “I guess you can’t do things the traditional way, can you.”

I snorted. “When have I been traditional about anything?”

I felt a hand on my arm and knew it was Justin. Finally. I quickly wrapped my arm around his waist, determined not to let him get separated from me by everyone again. I wanted him close. I wanted him as close as possible.

“Well, you have to at least dance!” Emmet said happily, running to the stereo.

“Oh, that’s right!” Ben said, following him. “That’s one tradition that can’t be broken.”

I arched an eyebrow at them. “Dance? To what? The Spider-Man soundtrack? That weird new-age shit you listen to?”

Michael swatted me on the arm. His eyes were still red and puffy. “We have other CDs, you know.”

I snorted. “Yeah? Like what?”

“Oh, this is perfect,” Ben said, putting a CD in the player. “Come on, you two.”

Ted helped Ben move the coffee table out of the way to create room for us to dance in, and I laughed.

“Looks like they want to see us dance, Sunshine,” I said, grinning at Justin.

“I don’t blame them. We do look fabulous when we dance together,” he said, smiling back.

I smirked and put a hand on his back, pulling him towards the large empty space in the living room as the music started.

I recognized it instantly and laughed.

It Had to be You started playing from the speakers, sung by Frank Sinatra.

“This is ridiculous,” I said, putting a hand on Justin’s hip.

“Ridiculously romantic,” he replied, taking my hand.

I spun him around the small space we had to dance in, and he smiled the whole time.

For an instant I recognized that smile, and thought of his face as I danced with him in another time, and another place.

Normally a thought like that would depress me. Instead, I just let out a short laugh and dipped him.

He lifted his leg and giggled, just like he had over fifteen years ago.

When I lifted him back up, he rested his forehead against mine. I completely forgot that we were being watched. I completely forgot where we were. All I knew was that Justin was here, and I could see the ring on his finger that I’d gotten for him so long ago. And somehow, finally, it seemed like we were where we were supposed to be.

Once the song was over, everyone else crowded into the living room, dancing and talking. Jennifer pulled Justin away almost immediately and I let him go reluctantly. Every moment I wasn’t touching him was painfully obvious. It was like my body temperature dropped when I didn’t have his hand in mine, or his body against mine. It was like being hungry, but I wasn’t.

It was like being a fucking lesbian, thinking about my feelings, and emotions, and getting married.

I stepped to the edge of the crowd, shooting Justin a grin and pulling a joint out of my pocket. He nodded over his mother’s shoulder. He knew I had to bail for a minute. Before anyone else could notice, I went to the back door and slipped out, taking a deep breath of air and lit the joint, inhaling from it deeply. My hands were still shaking.

“Gonna share?” Michael asked, coming outside to stand next to me.

I handed him the joint and arched an eyebrow at him.

“I can’t believe you,” Michael said, shaking his head.

I shrugged.

“It took you long enough,” he said. He inhaled deeply from the joint and then handed it back, coughing a little. “Shit. How did Justin talk you into it?”

I smoked silently for a minute before responding. “It was my idea.”

Michael stared at me, expressionless. “You don’t believe in love, you believe in fucking? Marriage is for heterosexuals and self-hating fags?”

Pursing my lips, I shrugged.

There was a long silence while we stared at each other. Michael’s face was blank, but in his eyes I could read every emotion he was feeling. Regret. Relief. Pain. Love.

I slid an arm around Michael’s shoulders and cocked my head at him. “I love you, too.”

He grinned a little and leaned his head against my shoulder. “Always have, always will,” he said.

We stood silently in his back yard, listening to the laughter and music coming from inside, and smoked the entire joint, until there was nothing left.

The door opened behind us, and I could feel that it was him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be showering me with attention?” Justin asked. His voice sounded amused, but underneath there was fear.

He was just as scared as I was, and seeing me with Michael wasn’t helping.

I dropped my arm from Michael and turned to slide my hands around Justin’s hips. “Hey there.”

Justin smiled, then shifted his gaze to Michael.

“Congratulations,” Michael said. He put a hand on Justin’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes. “I’m happy for you. I really am.”

Justin arched an eyebrow at him, and I gripped his hips a little tighter. The air was tense.

Then Michael spoke again. His voice was soft, and he ducked his head while he talked. “Brian deserves to be happy. You’d better make sure he is.”

Justin’s smile widened and nodded. “You know I will.”

Michael looked up and gave Justin a playful grin, and the regret seemed completely gone. “You’d better.”

Justin glanced at me, then pulled out of my grasp and yanked Michael into a hug.

I shoved my hands into my pockets and watched as Michael tensed, then slowly relaxed and hugged Justin back, smiling.

When they broke apart, Justin took my hand and squeezed it tightly. “It’s about time you took me home and fucked me.”

I snorted and nodded. “Yes, dear.”

Michael laughed and led us back inside. “Wait, you can’t go yet!”

As soon as we came back in, we were grabbed and pulled into the living room, and stood in the middle of all of our friends.

“We have to take a picture to commemorate this event!” Emmet said. He had a camera set on a tripod on the other side of the room. A moment later he rushed into the group, and we all smiled.

I’d been in plenty of family photos before, but this might have been the first one where I actually smiled and meant it.

More photos were taken after that. Justin and I with Jennifer. Justin and I with Michael and Ben. Justin and I in every possible grouping that you could get. Then, Justin and Gus and I.

Finally, once the roll was full, I pulled Justin towards the door. “We’re leaving now,” I said. “You can’t keep us here any longer!” And before anyone could reply we slammed the door behind us and ran to the car.

Justin was laughing, and I pulled him against my body, leaning against the side of the car. Our lips met, and it felt just right all over again.

When the kiss was broken, Justin nuzzled his nose against mine lightly before pulling away and opening the car door. He smiled and said my favorite words. “Take me home.”

So I did.

It's funny how no matter how far you go in life it only takes seconds to bring you back to where you started. –Anonymous


6 months later........

“Dad?” I heard being bellowed through the house as I pulled a pan of chicken parmesan out of the oven.

“In here, Gus.”

He strode into the kitchen and plopped his messenger bag down on the kitchen chair. “Hey,” he said to me, smiling and peering over my shoulder at dinner.

“Hey yourself. How was your first day back at school?”

“Awesome.” He seemed a little bit giddier than usual. No need for alarm I told myself. He’s allowed to be happy. “Where’s Dad?” He asked popping a piece of bread into his mouth.

“He should be home any minute. New account.” I handed him some plates out of the cabinet so he could set the table.

He set the table silently and I noticed he was smiling the entire time. Now, it’s normal for Gus to smile. He is naturally a happy kid. But he’s wasn’t just smiling. He was fucking beaming from ear to ear.

Just then I heard the front door open and the sounds of cursing and shoes being kicked across the foyer.

“Did you leave your shoes in front of the door again?” I asked Gus.

“Oops.” He shrugged and continued to smile.

Brian stormed into the kitchen and glared at Gus.

“I don’t spend hundreds of dollars on diesel sneakers so you can leave them all over the fucking house.”

“Jesus Christ, what’s up your ass?” Gus set the last plate down and smirked at his father.

“Nothing.” Brian grumbled and lightly kissed my cheek as he passed me on his way to the wine.

“Well THAT’S not the truth. I hear you sometimes. ‘That’s it Justin. Fuck me.’” He made a girly voice as he tried to imitate his father in the throws of passion. I blushed immediately and if looks could kill Gus would be have been dead where he stood from Brian’s eyes.

“Why the fuck are you so happy?” Brian asked as he poured himself and me a glass of wine. He sat at his normal place at the dinner table and Gus sat across from him, with a raised eye brow.

“I’m not allowed to be in a good mood?” Gus asked buttering his bread.

Brian raised an eye brow at him and swished his wine around in his glass. “Mmmm. Of course. So, how was school?”

“Awesome.” Gus and I both answered at the same time as I brought dinner to the table.

Brian grinned at me and I touched his cheek gently. I know it sounds ridiculously lesbianic but I don’t think I have ever been more in love than I have been this last year.

After the whole unconventional wedding Brian and I had at Michael and Ben’s, our life could not have been any better. We waited until Gus was done with his freshman year at school and then took a month long vacation to Europe. But before leaving we both went for a full work up of testing.


Almost every type of disease you could think of including diabetes and cancer.

And of course, HIV.

Our trip through Europe had to have been the best experience of my life. Just being able to be there with Brian in the most romantic cities on earth was a dream come true. When we went to Italy he made sure I got to see every piece of art there was to see. Statues, paintings, buildings, he made me see it all.

We did E in Amsterdam and danced till 5 in the morning. We made love on the balcony of our hotel room in Paris with full view of the Eiffel Tower. We got drunk and stumbled down the streets of Berlin, kissing and groping along the way.

He told me he loved me in front of Windsor Castle in England. He held my hand while we walked through the Promenade des Bastions in Switzerland.

He told me he never knew it would be like this as he pushed inside me in our king size bed in a tiny bed and breakfast in Greece. He whispered how he couldn’t wait to be inside me with nothing between us. To be able to feel me, feel us with no more hesitations. No more regrets. Nothing but me and him.

When we got back it was like nothing could touch us. Even though I was a little overwhelmed with trying to get 7 paintings done for the Philadelphia gallery that had told me they wanted to feature my work, and with the 3 new accounts Brian was trying to get under Kinnetik’s belt. But none of that mattered. Brian and I were better than we had ever been.

And last night he stood in the doorway of my studio with the widest grin on his face that I had ever seen, waving two pieces of paper around in the air I knew that from now on nothing could break us.

All results from our tests had come back for the second time in 6 months.



I knew he wanted to fuck me right there where I stood. Just bend me over my art table and ram into me, no lube, no condom, no nothing, but he knew I needed more than that.

That this had to be done right. It had to be perfect for me. And he wanted to give me that.

Brian wanted to give me everything.

We knew Gus was going to be spending the night at Joey’s tonight. So we decided, tonight was going to be the night. Nothing could ruin this. Nothing WOULD ruin this.

I had plans for a hot bath followed by candlelight love making in our bed. Okay, okay so a little too romantic even for Brian, but he was going to get to fuck me raw. I think he would be able to overlook it.

I was broken out of my daze by an odd declaration by Gus.

“I want to join band.”

Brian stopped mid bite, his fork hanging in the air.

“Huh?” he asked.

“I want to join band,” Gus said matter-of-factly.

“Wouldn’t you rather play soccer?” Brian asked.

“Or join art club?” I chimed in.

Gus rolled his eyes and let out a huge sigh. “This may come as a surprise to the both of you, but I’m my own person.”

“We never said you weren’t Gus.” I butter Brian’s bread for him and he gives me a tiny smile.

Yeah, this is they way things are now.

“Okay, so what do you want to play in band, Gus? Guitar? Bass? Drums?” Brian asked.

“Violin.” Gus answered.

Brian dropped his fork on his plate and it echoed through the kitchen like a knife in my stomach.

“No fucking way.”

“WHY?” Gus asked, gaping at Brian.

“Cause there will be no violin music played in this house.” Brian looked at me with fire in his eyes. “Ever.”

Gus looked between the Brian and me a few times and frowned.

“That’s such BULLSHIT! You can’t tell me what instrument I can play in the fucking band!”

“Why the hell do you want to join band anyway! You’re not a fucking nerd!” Brian yelled.

I touched his hand and he calmed a bit.

“Uncle Mikey was a nerd! And you were friends with him!” Gus argued back.

“Uncle Mikey read comic books and wore loafers. He didn’t play fucking violin in the fucking school BAND!”

“Brian, calm down. Gus should be able to do what he wants. He’s 16 for Christ’s sake.” I had to admit Brian was being a little ridiculous about this.

But by the look on Brian’s face the happiness he had been feeling since last night from the results he waved at me, was dissipating and fast.

“Gus, why the sudden interest in band? I mean you never once mentioned wanting to play an instrument before.” I took a sip of my wine and waited for his answer.

Then I saw it again. That smile. That beaming smile that radiated through his entire body. And, oh my god, was he blushing?

“Is there someone IN band you like Gus?” I ask smirking at Brian.

A slow grin forms on Brian’s lips.

“Maybe.” Gus answers.

“What’s her name?” I nudged Gus’s arm and he batted at me playfully.

I sneaked a look at Brian and he wasn’t grinning anymore. I knew it was Brian’s wish that Gus would have turned out to be gay but I knew from Gus’s recent crush on my sister, Brian may not get his wish.

“It’s not a girl.”

“That’s my boy.” Brian was smiling again and downed the rest of his wine.

“It’s not a boy either.”

“Uhhh Gus. That’s really the only two choices you have unless you have some new found fetish with animals and if that’s the case I think we have a larger problem than you just wanting to play violin.”

Brian smacked my arm and looked intently at his son. “Well, if it’s not a girl, and it’s not a boy, than who the fuck is it?” Brian asked.

“It’s a teacher.”

Brian laughed and straightened up in his seat a little. “Is it your gym teacher?”

I glared at Brian and put my finger to my lips, giving him the shush sign. That was the LAST thing Brian needed to tell his son about. Its bad enough he told ME at 17.

“So, tell us about this teacher.” I watched as Gus played with the food on his plate.

“He’s the new music teacher. He’s so hot.”

“Well at least he’s a guy.” Brian chimed in.

“Would you be quiet?” I warned him. “Okay, hot new music teacher,” I continued.

“Yeah, he’s a genius. You should hear him play.”

I smirked at Gus because the way his face was flushed and he couldn’t wipe that smile off his face was just too adorable for words. It reminded me a lot of how I used to be when I first met Brian.

“An older man, huh?” Brian eyed me. “Leave it to him to take after you.”

I had to laugh at that.

“Well, parent-teacher conferences are next week. We’ll have to check this hot teacher out, right Brian?”

“Yeah, I’ll be the judge of just how hot he is.” Brian answered as I cleared the dishes from the table. Brian saw I was struggling so he grabbed a few from me and gave me a pat on the ass.

“What’s this hot teacher’s name?” I asked Gus as I got to the sink before Brian, bumping my hip into his playfully.

“Mr. Gold.”

And that’s when all the dishes Brian had in his hand ended up on the floor.